Not again, please

September 16th, Saturday-Well, after a few months of really discouraging setbacks in various aspects of my life, I have once again found myself with very little self-confidence. This time it's regarding my work situation (I don't even want to start on the health issues. The list is too long and too depressing to mention. Not terminal, mind you, just hugely irritating.) I have once again been told I am "not good enough," although in the nicest possible way, which I appreciate. In any case, despite the light and delicate slap in the face I've been given, it just threw me into a turmoil and I remembered every past instance of being looked over, not promoted, or even considered for a position I wanted. It took me not just twice as long as anyone else I knew to get the assistant job I wanted, but three times as long. I was an old lady by the time I was hired to be an assistant. Nobody has ever really wanted to hire me in the profession I chose, except for the fact that I was cheap labor. It was another experience I can put on the "here's another thing you want that you're not going to get" board in my mind. I used to think that with hard work I'd be able to accomplish any goal I took on. Well, I don't think that so much, now, since almost every goal I've had has been thwarted not just once, mind you, but multiple times. If I gave up after one setback, then I'd think I wasn't really interested, but it hasn't been just one setback, it's been a lot. It's enough to think that maybe it's not worth the heartbreak. I'm just glad I'm going on a vacation soon, because I really need something really good and nice to happen to me, if only to be reassured that sometimes God will let good things happen to me.